sniffle sniffle blink blink

Not going back forever but 2 week long (or at least almost week long ^_^) trips close to back to back should help ease this ache in my heart! Yay me!

Self-control.  I ain't got none.  No willpower whatsoever... not against food, not against men, not against myself when it comes to spending the money that I barely have... oy... it anyone's got a pill for it, I'll gladly pay (with more of that money that I barely have...)

I gots me a phone! Better make good use of those unlimited minutes that they pushed on me... heh.

Feh.

BAKING SODA! Baking soda ROCKS!! I've always loved baking soda since I'm always using it when I bake but now I understand the TRUE power of baking soda... it's the perfect cleaner. Now I've always loved hot water as the best stuff for cleaning but baking soda + water = unstoppable when it comes to grease and dirt... the coating of grease on the stove? GONE. The blue dye that came off of the cheap futon fabric and colored the wall? GONE. The years and layers of built up dirt from the neverending construction outside that's all over the windowsill? GONE. I didn't have to buy multiple expensive cleaners and wipes and extra chemically solutions to zap the stains away, all I needed was a box of baking soda and some water!

Cal-li-for-nia here I come... (yes, I know there's only one "l" in California, but the song is sung with two!) Not really where I want to end up on the good ol' Left Coast but at least it's in the right (left?) state!!! No more 15 degree "high" temperatures! (-3 if you factor in the wind chill... )

You know you're addicted to a show and specific writers when you can watch the whole episode and figure out who wrote it... this has only happened with House... I always seem to know when Doris Egan wrote the ep and now it seems I can detect when David Shore does it... I chalk it up to their episodes being the ones that truly captivate all of me and stay with me for longer than it takes to change the channel...

Why am I so sad over the possibility of leaving what I've wanted to leave since practically Day 1? Is it because the lingering remnants of that schoolgirl crush on A is still weaving its sweet tentacles around my heart? Is it because of that fear of the unknown and the inevitable need to step into the middle of nothing with all of your hopes and prayers for the future that may someday be? Or maybe it's just because this "happiness" that I'm chasing it simply the same bittersweet chain that has already been wrapped around my soul...

Time waits for no one... I wish I could go on a month to month lease so I can hunt for a new job in peace... instead of in pieces!  Actually, scratch that... I wish I could win the $112 million Mega Millions lottery drawing for 01/09/2007... ya hear that Big Guy?!!

I  know I should be grateful because I am employed at a very easy  and fairly stable job and I'm earning decent enough money considering how simple my job is... or rather, how simple it *could* be if I would just let it BE simple... but I have learned that I abhor this "simplicity" in my life and I swear I can feel my brain cells screaming in agony as they wither away one by one... have I mentioned that I believe the "simplification of my life" has also made me into quite the drama queen? ^_-

Sometimes I just need to cry...

's way too hot... and it's only going to get worse according to Al Gore...

Can anyone be "naturally" happy? That is, feel happiness as a normal state of being instead of having something MAKE you happy? People say "happiness is a choice" but that generally speaks to how a person sees events or handles situations, that is, how someone "chooses to react/respond to something else"... but why can't "happiness" be a default state of being? I've been known to be spectacularly happy for absolutely no reason whatsoever... I find, at least for me, that being UNhappy is something that usually takes an outside stimulus of some sort, that is, I feel/am unhappy because of something or as a result of something BUT, I have been known to be demoralizingly sad for no reason whatsoever at times... of course, this could all just be because I'm an incredibly *moody* person! Heh.

I don't think I've ever seen so many people protesting the 4th... the Bush Administration bashers were out in full force today... they were selling t-shirts and "newspapers" around the Taste... I was tempted to buy one... except I'd already spent WAY TOO MUCH on the deep-fried comestible goodness that passes for food at the Taste! Lovely day today but WAY TOO MANY people out and about >_<... I should really learn to stop being so antisocial :P

I should also go to sleep soon... but I kind of want to bake something... hmm...

I'm not sure if this means I am sick for home or if my home makes me sick... if nothing else, it'd be nice to figure out where "home" truly is... here's a satpic of what I seem to still consider "home"... even though it's belonged to others for almost a decade now, the thought of it NOT being "home" still brings me to tears... 's funny how it just seems impossible to let go of some places...